Tears Through The Reflection

I was on my way home in office bus. Everyone likes to sit alone in a two seat, ok may be not everyone, but I like to sit alone. That day, 7 pm bus was quite empty and I was sure none will sit beside me. But, this girl whom I am going to talk about came straight to me and sat beside me! There where many other empty seats but this girl had to choose seat beside me! Anyways I was with my ipod, enjoying my favourite songs.

This girl took out her mobile and started messaging, believe me I felt as though she was typing out a huge mail. I had to notice this because of the rage with which she was involved in her messaging. Gosh, I did pity the recipient. Later some time, I realised she was too disturbed and I started manipulating the reason, and off course the first few things that struck me was: may be some thing at office and she was cribbing about it to someone or should be her boy friend or some fight or some bad news… one by one many reasons stepped in and stepped out. I had’t seen her face yet, I did’t want her to notice me noticing her :D so I did’t make any attempt in seeing her face.

There were some replies coming in but the amt of messages she sent where too many and too huge. I realised that I should really mind my business and I turned left and starred outside. I saw her face in the window pane reflection. With low lit bus, I could get a glimpse of her eyes. She sure had beautiful eyes. I was starring only to realise after few seconds that they were filled with tears which was just about to roll down :(

I was shocked, I did’t know what to do. I wanted to ask her so badly, if there is anything that I could do. I looked around to find few more eyes starring at me, I was like “hey I did’t do anything, I don’t even know her”!!

Now I wanted to slap that person who had brought her to this state. But may be she was repenting something, I could't not be sure..

It is really painful to see a person sitting beside you cry, and you cant do anything about it. She tried her best to hide it out, she did’t have kerchief. She had to use her dupatta. She closed her face too. I got tensed and completely turned to my left and closed my eyes. But I could not sit idle; I opened my eyes every now and then to see what she was doing and if others have stopped starring..

Her messaging did’t stop, now she was with tears and typing. Her tears grew with each reply. Was the recipient trying to console her or ruin her state?

I wonder if the recipient realised she was terribly disturbed and crying. She cant type out, “I am crying.. “. Textual conversations can be so misleading, you can send a :) even when you are angry, sad or other the way. It hides/ fakes the actual.

That was it. I was so badly waiting for my stop to come. Damn traffic made my wait longer!

Suddenly, she placed her mobile in her bag and was trying to calm herself. I was happy to see her do this and I was relieved. I will not be seeing her cry. She somehow consoled herself.  I thought how emotional a girl can get, she was crying in the bus with colleagues around who were all starring at her!

Stop came and we got down...

Violet coloured frock

I was travelling to Chennai by train and was engrossed in a book on Sherlock Homes‘s adventures. I was totally into it but just took a small peek outside through the window to find a little girl, wearing a violet frock running in the middle of no where. I could’t find anyone around for at least a mile’s radius.
She looked like typical village girl with muddy dress and messy hair. The violet frock reminded me of my frock that I used to wear at approximately at same age. It was my favourite one with huge flowers and I wore it lot many times in a week :)
I was probably in 4th or 5th std and stayed in Karnataka and used to visit my grandma’s place in Chennai during holidays. I got this new frock along during the next visit and ran around the whole street and boasted like any other little girl wearing a new dress and did all the giggling when people commented on it :D
The next day I was devastated to find that the frock which was put to dry near the well was gone in the morning. I could’t believe that it was gone! I searched for it all over and yes I did cry. All were puzzled as to why only that frock went missing as it was a very simple frock.
My grandma consoled me by saying it would have fallen into the well and during summer it will be visible with little water in the well. But the frock was clipped to the rope :( I came back home after the holidays without my frock. And I enquired about it each time I spoke to my grandma over phone or when my mom wrote to her. Hmm I did’t give up, during the next holidays I came and peeped into the well but did’t find any sign of that.
Even now, nearly 14 years later I remember the exact spot were my frock was last seen dangling in the rope.
Hmm so all these flashed in my mind when I saw that little girl and I wanted my frock back! I suddenly had a good laugh thinking that frock will not fit me now and this drew some attention from people around, I starred at the book and made it as though there was some joke ;)
The girl was long gone but my thoughts took a different turn. I thought how my life would have been if 14 years back, I was running around just like her (wearing my violet frock :D ) in a village born to a mother of 3 or 4 kids and father who is a farmer working in the near by fields for daily wages. Sounds weird but its possibility cant be neglected :D Being a girl, I really doubt if I would have gone to school. The things that matter to me now: my mobile, camera, dark chocolate ;) Australia, Bruce Willis, Ronan, Java.. would be something that I would not have cared about or rather not heard of!
That’s a like a life totally upside down! But on the other hand I would have enjoyed the early morning breeze daily near the fields, climbed trees with ease, drenched in rain along with cows and goats who would be my buddies, fought with my sisters and brothers for some locally made candy, roamed the whole place alone, spend nights outside the house starring the stars and walked around in pitch dark nights holding my mom’s hand, chased rats in the fields, played in hot sun without knowing what is tanning, stare at people who travel in the trains who would stare back at me, learn cooking in the chocking stove, run behind my dad while he is ploughing, meddle with his agricultural gadgets, get into marsh fields to find insects and worms, know the value of few notes that my dad would earn, know the whole history of each and every person living in that locality which would be my world.
Hmm by this time, I would have married some fellow with whom I would have played with and is some relative who had gone to school for few years, now owns a hut and works in different field. I would be spending my days with minimal and tiny expectations. Later some day, I would have got my daughter a violet coloured frock…

Bit by a Black Mamba

All of a sudden I got a strong desire to take an early morning walk alone at Lal Bagh. I mailed my friends on a Friday morning stating that I will go on a walk and come back with loads of pictures of birds, trees etc! I was too excited about this and I got encouraging replies too.
On Friday evening, I was reading some novel that featured a snake. I now got a gut feeling that I would find a snake (not Black Mamba though!) the next day. Snakes fascinate me with their skin patterns and hunting techniques. The techniques are so astonishing that none of the other creatures on earth would be close enough to beat them in patience and intelligence that takes to catch a prey!
Luckily, yes luckily, I have had chances to take a closer look at these beauties couple of times before. It is always a thrill to encounter wild creatures un-caged. Once, I was so excited to watch a snake that I missed to take a snap! None would believe if I say that I have scolded myself at least a thousand times now. My favourite of all the snakes is Black Mamba (nicknamed Shadow of the Dead) which lives in Africa. Firstly I have a craze for black and this snake has black coloration inside its mouth and known to be very venomous. Very powerful hunter!
Check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_mamba
I had kept the alarm by 5 30 and I placed my camera which I call “Black Bird” near me so that I would wake up to its face and get started! And it worked! I started off by 6 10 am and reached Lal Bagh by 6 45 am. To my shock there were lot many people already and I now I did’t feel like being alone. I was just wandering around for an hour and I realized I had not taken the cam outside its pouch! I somehow did’t feel like taking pictures! I came all the way here early in the morning for taking pictures and question came up as to what am I going to show my friends?
I later on decided to just take it out and snap something. I started off with bees, flowers, trees and birds. I did get excited but something was still missing! Just then a snake showed up in the lake! Yahoooo, me and my cam finally managed to find a snake and I snapped it! It just disappeared in seconds. I was so elated that I almost got the happiness of being “Jeff Corwin", “Steve Irwin” and other reptile lovers. ;) I could’t believe that my long time dream to snap a snake came true :D

With great sense of pride I continued snapping around and to my surprise another snake showed up!! It seemed similar to the earlier one and I even got the feel that it could have been the same snake coming after its buddy ( me !! hehe).
That was too much of excitement for that day! I ended my walk after exploring and spying on kids, oldies, lovers ;)
I was at park for nearly 4 hours and decided to start back. I was not totally alone after all :) I met my buddy twice!
Link to the snaps: http://picasaweb.google.com/anupsz/AWalkToFindASnake
I later described these events to my friends and many called me crazy and one of my friends made a remark that I could have got bitten by that snake. I thought may be I would not mind being bitten by a Black Mamba…

My Dark Boy Friend !

I love this boy friend of mine only for the reason that he is dark. Yes! I like him DARK, as dark as possible.
I have known him for so many years now but only recently I could see the dark side of him and I fell completely in love. I am so crazy that I cannot believe myself!
I think about him for long hours and wonder why I like him so much! I am lost when I am with him. I talk to my friends about him and he has impressed me so much that I have gathered all the details I could about him since his childhood.
I don’t think I cared so much about him until one day when I was introduced to dark side of him by one of my close friends! Almost everyone who knows that I like him ask the same question “How can you stand such dark fellow??”!! I sometimes get this pleasure that I like something that others don’t like. It is always a pride at least for me if I stand out in something! I even get teased that I lack in taste for liking only him and that too, dark! I don’t think I need to think about someone else :D
And sometimes I think it is none of their business to ask me, I like him dark. So what’s the big deal??
But I do have a problem; there are many girls who like him dark too. May be there guys who like him a lot! But the number is far less than the ones who don’t like him for being dark.
That is good because I have less competition :D
I don’t want anyone else to like him the way I like him!
Sometimes I get the feel that none else should even see him! I am jealous, but I cannot really do anything!

Sometimes I get the feel that may be everything is just an impulse that would fade away soon...

Does he even know that there are so many who are crazy about him?
I guess none would impress him as he is far more magnificent than anyone can imagine! I wish I could tell these by looking into his dark brownie eyes …

Wats up with me and Hola Vola ??

Thats my orkut "About me " content, which i have not changed since the time I created it..
There have been so many who have asked me this question, I have told only very few the actual origin of this. I usually say "summa" :)
It all started off with “Gladiator”movie ! Yeah it sure does’t make great sense.
The “Spaniard” inspired me to learn Spanish, and hola was the first word I got started with. And I managed to learn few more from one of my friends.
On some silly day , I used “hola” as the first word with everyone I chatted with and I got all kinda responses from each one. Some responded with cola, bola, sola etc similarly I got “vola” as response from one of my friends. I kinda liked it and that’s how I started using it. I don’t think he would even remember that he responded like that. I have been using this word that he started off for all these years.
And now, I have reduced using it but I get to hear it from almost every one who greets me. I have become Hola Vola Girl.
At work, ppl know what my password is for generic ids. It is funny how these words got tagged to me :D
In fact few weeks back, my status message instead of ”Hola Vola Ppl :D “ read, “should I change my status message” and many asked me not to change it :D
And may be I don’t want to change it ever.
Adios ppl :)

I did, I did write a blog !

I wanted to blog too, simply because many others do!
I created this account in March '08, wrote my first blog saying "I have no idea what to write "
People who know me would surely wont believe that I dont have anything to write or talk about. I simply can talk to anyone and almost anything. I think blogging is not all that different from talking .

But then, I really did't have anything to write and later and somehow lost even the heading of my blog!

Yesterday night, I was reading a blog of one my friends and logged into my account to find my only blog there starring at me saying " dont you dare say you have no idea what to write" !!!
I suddenly get this feel to write blog !

One thing that I have noticed with many blogs that I have read is the words being used, they seem to high for my vocabulary.. I dont understand why would anyone want to use words that are not common and readily understood.
since I dont get many words, that either proves that I am not good enough with words or may be the blogger wants to prove that he/she is great at it or may be this great thought of making the reader learn new words :)
Well, I am not gonna aim at beautifying my blog with poetic stuff, I am gonna type what I speak !
With all these running in my mind, I was on the usual daily call with mom.
I told her im too sleepy and said bye.
I switched off my pc, packed it in laptop bag and hit the bed! Somehow I was unable to sleep, I got into some conversation with my roomie, told her with great excitement that I am gonna start blogging!

I asked her also to join, and she said ye sure. I kept disturbing that girl who was reading a book which i had completed. Its always fun to kill the suspense ;)
But I was not into such playing mood today, all I wanted to do was blog !

I thought of all kinds of things that I could write : me, friends, family, boy friend ;) travel stories, funny experiences.. I got into this huge recap session that I almost scanned through my entire life !! I even got into future :D

I can actually sleep in noisy place and with lights on too, just I was into bloggy mood !
It was over 12 30, I thought I am not gonna sleep! Now, the thought of I am not sleepy all the more drove the sleep away. I have to wake up by 6 30 and that actually freaked me out. Every night when I sleep, I plead sun not to rise so early!

I asked my roomie "which side do I usually turn and sleep?? "
Later at one point she said she is now sleepy and said "Guess you should write a blog today and only then you would sleep" !

Oh man, she s going to sleep too!! what am I gonna do..
There have been so many nights when I dont get sleepy and I simply relax and later sleep off. But today I was restless !
Lights went off and I was still in bloggy mood !

I decided to write a blog, I took my laptop and was online and I finally wrote a blog ":)
With great sense of achievement (I know its just a blog ), I decided I wont pack my laptop n all, and peacefully slept !

6 17 alarm rings.. I got up by 6 20 ish to switch on heater, thinking sun will never listen to me !
Hey I remembered what night I had, came to hall and noticed the laptop was not there!
hmm oki thought may be I had packed it, I decided will mail all ppl about my achievement :D
Later this question struck me " So, what did i blog about" ?
I couldt get an answer... I scanned the night again.. and I could't guess what I had blogged. Decided not to think more on this but I would check it out at office...
As I was travelling in bus, I was now back to bloggy mood ! Man what did I write so late in the night! I later stepped outta this mood only to realize that may be I did't write at all :( I had't actually achieved anything yest night !!

I kept saying this like Tweety says " I did , I did see a putty cat " !
I did, I did write a blog !
I did't give up, went to office and checked my blogs and there was nothing...
Hey may be I wrote it but did't submit it :)

Well, fine if not yest night I decided I will write one tonight! I mailed my friends that im gonna start blogging, they asked me for the link! I will send after I write one !
I met my roomie a while ago and I told her hey I am gonna write a blog today, soon after dinner and talk with home !

Here I am writing this blog in a notepad with no power supply to submit my blog
guess today also im gonna be in a bloggy mood !
its over 11 pm now, may be next minute there would be power for me to submit !

oh gosh, I cant believe this.. power !!!
now, will my internet work ?
damn ! it is taking this long to connect !

now I can say !
I did, I did write a blog !
phew !

My First Blog

i have no idea wat to write... :D